Katie Aunna now;-).
This post deals with my lack of courage and God's strike of lightening that I asked Him for. I asked for lightening bolts because I wanted a clear unmistakable message from God as to what He wanted us to do about adopting Lexi;-). There is so much stress we feel because of criticism from family and friends asking us if we are crazy??? Especially from our family. Plus, our financial situation at this time is not all that good. So, I wanted to be absolutely sure!!! See, I know when we do things out of self desire it usually backfires on us. When (no matter how crazy sounding the request) we do what God asks us to do, we are always taken care of, and things seem to work out PERFECTLY.
Well, the lightening bolt did happen and it started with a simple post on my Catholic International Adoptive Parents board. Hopefully during Lent you will fast, pray, and decide the right way to live your life and I will be doing the same thing. It should be something we all strive for during any liturgical season or ordinary time. Especially, during Lent, as this forty days signifies Christ's human nature to be tempted to make wrong choices. It also exemplifies His power to overcome these selfish fleshly temptations.
There are many ways one may come to discern God's Will during His Lenten season. A lady on my board made the first post regarding Discernment and Lent.
QUOTE:
"I am curious about what your Lenten plans are for this year? We are going to attempt a family service project, although I have no idea what we are going to do, pick one day a week with no computer (!), or TV, and I have a book on Purgatory that I want to read along with a 30 day novena for the souls in purgatory. Oh yeah, and make a special effort to discern if God is calling us to adopt again! Anyone have any suggestions to assist in the adoption discernment?
God Bless" Anonymous author #1
So, here is a lady looking for discernment on what to do about adopting again. She wisely wishes to be certain (like me) that it is the right thing to do and is truly God's calling. Of course, the first thing I think of when I read her post is our situation and making sure we are doing God's Will. I think...okay it seems safe to pour out my heart on this board of Catholic Christian people (great group) about my Lexi. Here was anonymous author #2's response to #1's post:
QUOTE: "I'm not sure...to tell you the truth, Lent kind of snuck up on me...I just realized that Ash Wednesday is this week. Sounds terrible, but life for me during tax season is like that.
I am considering praying the rosary daily during Lent. Many questions going on in my mind lately...may have some answers come to me...." Anonymous #2
Okay, I think to myself...Lent might be a really good idea for me right now. I can do a lot of praying, fasting, praying, fasting, and so on. Then I finally decide to write and just lay it out with this group about how scared and unsure I am. Here is my post:
"Thank you for this question about Discernment and Lent!!! Usually we try to give up sugar during Lent. Although, it seems to me your response about adopting a child again strikes home with me. Course, I am always an...on again and off again..."expectant" mother. I know the right thing to do, but, am always afraid of the big step....second guessing our decision and wanting to not listen to God's gentle nudges. Perhaps I am wanting some
discerning lightening strikes;-). I guess it is a Faith issue. Maybe I better do some Rosary praying as well during this time. I always worry about how we will finance things, the child's health needs, MY ability to meet those needs, the criticism of family members and friends, etc... My DH is one of those who gets into the process and doesn't sway. I really irritate him with my "on/off" mentality. This adoption will only be our 10Th child;-)...but, two are grown. Okay...thanks for listening and speaking to my heart;-). Many blessings....Trisha
http://journey2rfamily.blogspot.com/"
Then I think "Okay, now I feel better for at least getting this off my mind. It is nice to have someone who is wanting discernment for adoption during Lent like me. Guess what happens next???
Yup....Lightening strikes.
Not in the conventional way...like from the dark cloudy sky onto my feeble head;-). No it comes in the form of anonymous author #3s post:
Quote:
"Trisha-
Your blog is beautiful and so is your family! Praying your newest daughter is home with you soon. I loved the pictures of your big, FENCED IN, backyard - what a blessing!!"
Anonymous Author #3."
Here's the clincher or the first bolt of lightening.....#3 includes this quote with her post:
"There are no adequate substitutes for father, mother, and children bound together in a loving commitment to nurture and protect. No government, no matter how well-intentioned, can take the place of the family. ~ Gerald R. Ford"
Oh MY!!! I can't leave this child God is asking us to adopt in the hands of government care. It's just not right (self conviction occurs now). Okay...now I'm thinking..."I must pray for discernment and I have asked for lightening to strike me or something really obvious from God, but, have I received one??? Although, Gerald R. Ford's quote had a lot of enlightenment in it....it is somewhat like thunder with a small lightening flash from God...not the bold sharp bright bolt of lightening I am asking for that momentarily blinds you by its brightness;-).
Then I get a private email from a group member anonymous #2 who is writing again and titles her email:
"Well how's this for a lightening bolt???"
"Hi Trisha,
I am on the group and I just was reading your wonderful blog and spotted "V" (Lexi) from Murmansk and had to email you! I guess I am part of the journey b/c we actually had her on hold for a while about 1.5 yrs. ago...and I have been following her since. She has led us to Russia, and was the child that convinced DH we should adopt again also (this is our 3rd adoption).
It is a miracle. Last I heard another family with younger children were trying to adopt her..I suspect that is the one you spoke of in your blog?It's strange b/c lately "V" has been on my mind. Anyway...I am soooo happy and just know that she is your child...do not worry...God is at your side and it will work out if it is his will.
Presently, I am in a bit of a dither myself and have been saying a novena to Mother Teresa on
Mother Teresa .org...she has been monumental in this whole process. It is a long story, but we
declined a child in Russia in October, my mother died tragically in Sept. and that plus some stuff
going on with our kids and the parochial school who didn't support our traveling basically threw out our boys and well long story short, we had lost our faith in God and how we would manage and now are going crazy trying to amend our letter of decline. We just found out that she was moved, are searching for her...have sent a letter to the MOE through our agency (although we aren't sure if it really went) and well...it will take a miracle to do this...
OK..well sorry for rambling...I just wanted to make sure you have these pics of Lexi (that name fits her beautifully) in case they fall through the cracks...keep in touch and keep the faith.
PS.is that Katie Aunna's pic too? I attached a pic of my gang back in November.."
Then she posts a quote: "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
Who could have ever dreamed that I would write about my down feelings on my Catholic Parents board and then I would see the threads associated with discernment in regard to adoption. Further it amazes me that #2 had looked at the referral videos of both Lexi about two years ago....which was about the same time I was looking at "V" the first time which was before we adopted Mary instead of Lexi.
Then, what are the statistical odds, that this same person would look at and know Katie Aunna's referral information from considering her last year about the same time I was looking at Katie??? She sent pictures of both the girls (Lexi and Katie's referral pix) to me that she had kept on her computer from when she was considering adopting the children God has given to me!!! We are connected!!! So lightening strikes me!!! There are people on this Christ Centered Catholic board who are encouraging me with words that our Great God is giving them to say to me. He is establishing a supportive connection as well and a clear message in regard to Discernment and Lent. I am just stunned by this and wonder if you all see this connection.
Then another member of this same Catholic board sent this email which established a connection between us:
Quote: "Trisha, I read your blog and when I saw the little girl that you are trying to bring home....I was soooo happy. I saw her on UAHH and I wished that I could have gone to get her. I am no where near ready to adopt, but making slow progress. She just touched me and I prayed that God would find her a good family. I love when you get to see prayers answered. It always gives me such hope inside. Maybe God thought I needed a pick me up and lead me to your blog.....just to see that my small prayer was answered!!I pray that your adoption road to this little girl is fast and easy! I am so happy that she will have brothers and sisters and a good life after such a sad start!"
WOW!!! She knows my little girl, too. This board is NOT connected to my agency in any way. It is my religious parenting board of my particular Catholic faith.
Okay...there's nothing that can happen that God can't handle in your life or mine. I'm doing better!!! Today, God blessed us with our first donation. PLEASE let Lexi into your heart and allow God to nudge you as he gently does...."HELP BRING THIS SWEET LIITLE GIRL HOME". If we pull together as Christians...we can do this and although we will only be helping one child, we help the world in large part. Scroll down to the donation button for Lexi and give whatever amount that you KNOW you are being lead to give. God is quietly whispering that figure in your ear and it hurts our hearts when we don't follow through with His requests. I always think..."Gee, I should have given that dollar to the man playing his guitar in the cold".
Yes, we can easily ignore God. I know because I am a guilty of it. Further, I could just turn my back on Lexi and take whatever money I will use to save Lexi (my own portion of her adoption), to do something really nice and selfish for us...like pay off all those horrible bills we have accumulated during this recession to support seven kids. God isn't yelling it at me to adopt Lexi.
He is whispering LOVE into my heart for His orphan, Lexi. Even though I asked for lightening bolts and he gave it to me in His usual gentle loving way....I could pretend that I don't hear the whisper or feel the nudge or see the lightening. But, I will not be at peace. I am asking you to listen.
If God whispers any amount into your mind...listen to him and receive His Almighty approval and reward for being a child of the King. Help Lexi come home!!!
Today I have received a wonderfully beautiful Holy $25 dollar donation. Thank you for listening to your heart and acting with the first donation!!! It is the first brick laid in the road to Lexi!!! Who knows what she may do for the futures of many people in this world given the chance. You have played a role in her greatness and God has already made your heart feel cleansed....I know He has. Lexi is well known as a very compassionate and loving girl. I will be blessed to call her my daughter.
Amazingly, these lightening bright connections from these different people came from just ONE board!!! Wow!!! Please, let my girl touch your heart and listen to God's whisper about helping her come home. Look at how many people this little girl has had an influence on and she is destitute in a Russian orphanage at this moment. Imagine what she could do in the USA living in a loving family when she becomes an adult. Let's team up on the side of our Lord and do His Will.
Just call me silly old Noah, building a huge arc in the dry desert, because God said to do it.
I am wishing for you to experience much discernment in your life during this forty days of Lent which is beginning on Ash Wednesday...the day of perpetual hope for self discipline, discernment, and the gift from Christ of rising from the dead come Easter. Many Blessings....Trisha
Katie Aunna now;-).
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