I am happy to report that Katie Aunna is doing wonderfully!!!! Her tonsils were huge and very bad. I am so happy that we did this surgery with her and I know she is feeling better already even though she is hurting. Dr. Neal prescribed Tylenol with codeine for her pain and it seems to be working well for her. I want to share about Katie's experience yesterday with her surgery.
Thursday afternoon we (Duane, Casey, Karissa, Katie, and I) drove over to Lubbock and pre-registered her. Then we all went to Outback for dinner....YUMMY!!! Duane had a little surprise in mind for me!!!! After dinner, he took me to Circuit City and bought me a new digital camera....oh WOW!!! It is so nice and something I have wanted for a while now. So we are set for some great holiday pictures this year. Next, we checked into our hotel room to hopefully catch a little sleep before our 4:00am wake-up call. Needless to say, I was too stressed out to sleep. I laid there stressing about how Katie might respond to her surgery until around 2:00am and slept maybe two hours before the phone rang with our wake-up call.
Duane and I got the girls up, and left Casey to sleep in, as he had requested the night before. I think, being raised in a large family, sleeping in is a real treat for our teenager;-). Also, to see her in pain was too difficult for Casey and so he wanted to wait it out apart from us. Karissa took her school work with her so she would have something to do while we went through this process. When we came out of our hotel it was still dark and the girls thought that it was too early to be up. But, Katie was scheduled to go first into the OR suite. I had discussed, with Dr. Neal, Katie's experience with her arm surgery in Russia. We all felt we should do this quickly to help with her preoperative anxiety.
When we arrived at the hospital, and parked the car, Katie began to feel anxiety. She was hanging onto me for dear life and she kept asking me if we would stay with her. Apparently, her experience in Russia left a lasting impression in her mind that we would just drop her off and "maybe" return for her. Once she was taken into the waiting area she began to cry and beg me not to do this. I kept reassuring her that we loved her and we would never leave for home without her. I explained (for the millionth time) that in America, parents can stay with their children, no matter how long it would take.
The anesthesiologist, thankfully, gave Katie medication to relieve some of her anxiety. It did stop her crying and helped her relax until the nurses came for her. It was so sad as she looked up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and her message to me was clear. I was holding her hand when we reached the OR doors. It was at this point that she freaked out as the nurse said "tell Mommy you will see her in a little while".
Well, Katie did not go for this "see you later" business and she jumped on her feet in the bed and grabbed around my neck. They literally had to pry her off. I tried so hard not to cry, but, I was really fighting a losing battle with holding my composure after she was taken from view. I could hear her screaming "Mommy" for what seemed an eternity. In reality it wasn't long until I did not hear her crying and calling for me. It was one of the most difficult moments of my life.
It is not that surgeries with our other children were not difficult. It was the fact that Katie Aunna still had a small portion of her heart that held insecurity about her new life and family. Whereas, with our other children, they know we are true to our word and always keep our promises. This is the way Duane and I both were raised. When our parents made a promise, they kept it. They never promised us something they did not feel 100% confident about. Katie Aunna just has not had enough experiences with us to give us her whole heart.
Katie has many experiences in her past that influence her belief in situations. The largest being medically related and her security with us has had a mentality of "I was left for a painful surgery once and it could happen again". As a result, she was not about to separate from me without a fight yesterday morning. When she came out of the surgical suite, she was so afraid, that she wet her pants as I walked into the recovery room. So, I immediately took her hand and she drew it close to her face. Katie kissed my hand and just held it close to her face.
I sat in a chair and held her while the nurses changed her bed. For a good hour she refused to get into her bed and just smelled me as she snuggled. It was so sweet and in that hour she bonded to me more than I could have ever imagined. She gave to me her whole heart and all of her trust. When we finally checked out and left for home, she was so happy it can not be explained in words. Although she is ill, I don't know of a time she has been more relaxed and confident.
Over the last 24 hours since her surgery, she has said "I love you" at least a million times. Last night she slept with me and woke up several times with pain. Papa, of course, slept on the couch and got up to meet her needs when he heard her. I slept like a rock with my little girl safely beside me.
I am very thankful for my dear husband and the fact that he is such a loving father to our nine children. Today, Katie Aunna is doing very well and recovering from her surgery....just as we promised....safe in her own home surrounded by the family she dearly loves.
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