Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Adventure To Ukraine (Christian)



Christian snoozing in 2006

Christian and Karissa's orphanage in Sevastopol, Ukraine






Mama and Papa in Warsaw, Poland 2002


















Christian in the orphanage
Gotcha day in 2002












As Weldon became an adult, Casey began to tell us, that he was lonely and he wished for a little sister or brother. I kept telling him that Mommy and Daddy were lucky to have him. It was not possible for us to have any more babies. But, Duane had other ideas. He ask me to look into adoption for us again. I had begun to look at different possibilities of adoption. It seemed that I could not stop researching information about International Adoption and particularly in the country of Ukraine. I felt so drawn there.

I had looked at several agencies and decided we would use one in California. We sent in our fees and I began the paper chase. Theoretically, I was expecting!!! It was a few weeks before Christmas when we received a call that we would be traveling to Ukraine in January of 2002. The agency had told us that they had made the travel arrangements and we should not be gone longer than three weeks. It was very difficult to leave our little seven year old boy at home.

However, we felt it best that we not take him to a foreign country where we had no idea what to expect. We had applied to Ukraine for two girls between the ages of two and four years old. This agency had promised us that if we paid fees for two children in advance that we would get referrals for two girls who were young and healthy. So it was our expectation that we would be referred within our requested adoptive parameter. Were we in for a surprise!!! After many hours of travel we arrived exhausted, dirty, and ready to find our "girls". In Kiev we were met by a woman and man who claimed to be our translator (Ira) and adoption coordinator (Valerie).

They told us that they had an apartment for us and we would first be taken to the grocery store. Great....we had traveled 5,000 miles and now they wanted us to go to the grocery store!!! Well, Duane learned his first Ukrainian word on the way to the store...peeva (beer). Additionally, I bought onions, potatoes, ham, butter, cheese, jelly, and a wonderful fresh baked loaf of bread. When we arrived at our apartment, our coordinator (through the translator), said he wanted to talk to us about our meeting at the National Adoption Center (NAC) tomorrow.

Duane ask him to come in and we all sat down in the tiny living room. Valerie proceeded to tell us that he knew of twin girls and we should go to Sevastopol. He told us that it did not matter which child we chose, all that mattered was getting to Sevastopol. I ask if we did not understand the procedure here? I thought we were to get information from looking through books of children. He stood up and told us to do what he said and everything would be just fine. Otherwise our agency will expect us to return to America. I thought this was a bit mean, but, what can we do in a foreign country. We had to trust Valerie and we knew God was going to take care of us here.

We were so excited. I kept telling Duane that God was giving us the opportunity to parent twins after all. In the little kitchen I was frying potatoes, ham, and onions in butter. What a fattening dinner!!! But, it was ever so delicious. It was so difficult to sleep that night. All I could think about were those twin girls. It seemed that I had no sooner gone to sleep than Duane was waking me up to get dressed for our appointment.

We arrived that morning at the NAC early for our appointment. It was so nerve wracking!!! A long hallway with doors on one side and a long line of chairs on the opposite wall. We were the only couple there. People who worked there would come out of a door and slam it shut. This went on for a good hour before we were called into an office with a woman sitting behind a desk in the corner. She had several large blue books on her desk. Ira discussed something with her and I heard the word Sevastopol. The woman looked at one particular book and gave it to me. Ira ask me to look through the book. I did as I was told. Next, Ira ask me to just pick any child. I told her to tell the woman we wanted to see this child.

She stood up and walked over to the door and opened it. We followed her out and she told us to sit down. Then she went into a door slamming it behind her and a few minutes later she came out slamming the door. I don't think it was us, it was just how they worked all day, coming, going, and slamming doors behind. The woman handed some papers to Ira who told us to follow her. We had no idea what we were doing, but, we just kept following directions. Ira took us outside the cafe. She and Valerie had a heated discussion that was not translated for us.

Ira seemed very distressed, but, when I asked her if everything was alright.....she replied with why would it not be. Next, we walked down the street to a little cafe and were told Ira would wait with us while others took care of getting us permission to travel to Sevastopol. Several hours later Valerie came back and told Ira that everything had been arranged and he would take us back to the apartment.

That night I got everything ready to go as we would be catching a train very early in the next evening. All I could think about were those two little girls. Valerie told us they were only 13 months old. It was just hard believe that we would get twins. Two chances in a lifetime to parent twins!!!

That night I fried the remainder of ham and we had sandwiches on the most delicious bread I had ever ate. We had nothing to eat all day and it was such wonderful food. I spent another night laying there dreaming of my little twin girls. I finally fell asleep and did not wake up until near noon. We were so hungry and decided to try to find a restaurant. The neighborhood looked quite shabby. Like we were living in a dumpy rundown high rise apartment building among many of the same type buildings. Our apartment was quite nice and cozy, but, it was scary in the hallway. I kept thinking this must be the bad side of New York City;-). But, no one seemed to notice we were not residence's of the area.

It was very cold outside and we walked briskly making sure to map out where we were going. There was a little store on the corner. We went inside and used the money Ira had exchanged for us the day we were in the cafe outside the NAC. We bought food to cook and snacks to take on the train. The day seemed to be going by so slowly. Like we were stuck in slow motion. Since we did not see a restaurant, Daune and I returned to our apartment, and I cooked another delicious meal. It was even better, as we found a green pepper which I added that to the mix, plus stirred in a few eggs. I laid down on the bed and tried to take a nap, but, I just couldn't stop thinking about our babies.

Soon, Valerie was knocking on our apartment door. I almost jumped through the ceiling. Duane hurriedly got our luggage and we went downstairs to the waiting van. It was getting colder and had began to snow beautiful clean white flakes. As we drove through the city I could not help but think about all those people living in the apartment buildings. Each building looked much the same. All in very poor condition on the outside. I hoped and imagined that they were living in apartments that were nice on the inside.

The train station was quite pretty. It was old and very nostalgic. We boarded the train and found our compartment. Duane, Ira, and I sat at the window and watched as we pulled away from the train station and out into the city. Soon I noticed we were in the beautiful country and had left the city behind us. We were off on an adventure that we never dreamed we would be on.

The scenery was beautiful with small quaint houses and the biggest chickens I had ever seen. They were amazingly large!!! That still jumps out in my memory;-). It looked so much like the pictures that I had seen with older women who had on scarfs and a man walking with his dog and a big stick. Ira suggested we go to the dining car and have some dinner. We walked in the rocking train from one car to another. You could look down into a space between cars and see the tracks clicking by quickly. It was so extremely hot on the train and bitterly cold outside. The smell of cigarette smoke was horribly strong.

We entered the dining car and ate our dinner then made our way back to our compartment. Ira had a compartment next to ours. She shared with another female who was traveling. Our compartment was reserved with just Duane and I as occupants. A lady came around in uniform and asked us (in Ukrainian) a question. Ira popped her head out of the compartment next to ours and spoke with her. Ira ask us for (Ukrainian money) to rent sheets and a hand towel. We bought her sheets as well. The lady handed us two sets of sheets and two hand towels.

We settled into our rocking train beds and I went to sleep immediately. I woke to a gentle knock on our door. It was still dark outside. Finally I was adjusting to the time difference. We excitedly got up and dressed. Duane and Ira went to find coffee. I won't even describe the train bathroom....lets just say outside would have been so much better!!! The worst part of the train ride had been the unbearable heat. It was like a sauna. I had rather dreaded getting dressed as it was almost tolerable without clothes. Of course, our window would not open so we had no way to relieve the heat.

Soon, Duane and Ira returned with mission accomplished. Nice hot coffee with cream and sugar. We sat there as the sun came up shining with a golden glow in the clouds with the backdrop of a gorgeous blue sky. It reminded me of a magical picture. We were sipping our coffee and eating some of the food that I had bought the day before at the little store in Kiev. Finally, the train pulled into a city and slowly jerked to a stop as Daune, Ira, and I gathered our luggage. When we stepped off the train Valerie was waiting for us. Maybe he had flown or came by car, I didn't know how he arrived ahead of us.

But, soon we were loaded into a tiny car. It was amazing how many people can fit into a tiny foreign made car. The driver (not Valerie) was a reckless maniac. I kept thinking we would never to make it to our hotel in Sevastopol. The driver always managed to narrowly miss hitting other cars in motion, or parked at the side of the street, or worse yet...pedestrians who scurried out of this maniac's way. Duane and I just kept looking at each other and smiling. I guess we were glad for each moment we continued to live without crashing.

Eventually, we pulled up to the side of this very old, yet nice, hotel. We went inside with Ira and she discussed everything with the clerk. Duane handed over his Master Card. Next, we were handed keys for two rooms. One for Ira and one for us. Our room was quite nice with a small refrigerator, balcony, and bedroom off to the side of the entry. There was also an electric pot for heating water.

This brought me to realize it was lunchtime. We called next door to Ira and ask her if she was settled into her room. Then we ask her if she wanted to go out to find some lunch and a little store where we could buy a few things. You guessed it...peeva, Coke Light (diet Coke), ham, cheese, butter, jam, and yummy bread. When we returned to our room several hours later I was ready to drop. Ira walked faster than any person I had ever seen, at a near running dash. Again, I slept like a baby.

The next morning was our day to meet with the inspector and get permission to go to the orphanage. I had this horrible feeling inside, like when I was laying in the back of our SUV, on the way to Lubbock when we lost our twin boy and girl. It was a feeling of gloom and doom. In fact, Duane asked me a million time if I was alright. I just felt empty inside and scared something was horribly wrong. Valerie was waiting for us in the lobby downstairs. He had arranged for us to walk down the street and get into another tiny car. This time I do not even remember the ride. I was just in a daze.

We pulled up into what seemed like an alleyway only much wider. The building had a small foyer with a lady standing there smiling. I smiled back at her and somehow felt she was not a bad person. Valerie, on the other hand, I kept getting very bad vibes from him. He would not look at me and he barely would look at Ira or Duane. We followed the lady with Ira into a small office. Valerie went out the door and this frightened me even more. We sat down and this lady began to tell me about the picture she had of the child I picked out in Kiev at the NAC. He was a very ill child as were all the children in that big blue book I leafed through.

I kept asking Ira when would she mention our twins. Ira finally ask her (in Ukrainian) about twin girls. The lady shook her head no. I clearly understood that much. Ira whispered to me that someone who had been visiting a little boy saw them and had accepted them. I couldn't help myself when I started to cry. I tried not to and then I saw Duane with tears coming down his face, too. All those feelings of loss from twelve years before came rushing back to me. I had lost another set of twins.

There was a picture of the Orthodox Jesus on the wall next to her desk. I just kept staring at this picture and asking why in my mind. It seemed that I could not hear anything going on around me at this point. When I glanced over at the lady, she was looking at me, as I looked at her picture. She actually got tears in her eyes and she turned to Ira. She and the lady in the office were having a conversation and Ira turned to me and said: "She has a baby boy who is only 14 months old. He is a pretty boy. Won't you look at him?"

Duane was furious and said we had come to Ukraine for girls and was there not one baby girl in Ukraine? The lady looked at Duane and said in English: "Little boy need Mama and Papa, too." Duane took me by the arm and turned around. We walked out the door as I looked back over my shoulder. Duane was saying that he was going to kick Valerie's rear end. He was so mad. However, Valerie had already been paid half of his fees which came to $8,000 dollars and was not outside the building.

We got into the taxi in the street and all three of us were so very upset. Duane and I went straight to our room and Ira told us in the lobby of the hotel that she would contact us later. Once inside our room, Duane began to pack, and I laid down on the bed. I was tearfully praying and all I could hear in my mind was "Little boy need Mama and Papa, too." Duane repeatedly called our agency, the agency executive director's home phone, the emergency numbers for traveling families, and no answer. In fact, we received no call back until we returned to the USA weeks later!!!

At one point he had called my Dad who had advised Duane not to return home without a child. I briefly spoke with him, but, was just too upset to think. As the day got later, I could hear that Duane was still very distressed. It was close to 4:00pm. I went into the living room and Duane was sitting on the couch with his face in his hands. When I walked over to him, he stood up, and took me into his arms. Duane has never looked stronger to me than when he looked into my eyes and said: "Even little boys need a Mama and Papa, too."

I almost ran to the phone and called Ira's room. I said: "Ira, can we see the little boy?" Then I heard a click as she hung up on me. No sooner had I turned around and there was a knock at our door. I just knew it was Ira. When I opened the door she had her cell phone balanced on her shoulder and she was putting her boots on. She told us to hurry and she flew down the hallway to the stairs. We grabbed out coats and threw on our shoes. We literally ran all the way down stairs and out the door into the street. She hailed a taxi. I thought she was going to throw her self in front of the car. We all jumped in and she told him where to go while trying to catch her breath.

This taxi driver drove like a wild man through the streets and out into the opposite side of Sevastopol. The lady in the office was waiting and got out of her car when we pulled up to the orphanage gates. She handed Ira some papers and got back into her car pulling away from the curb. The building was very run down on the outside and I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest. The three of us went into the building. It was very quiet and I could smell food being cooked. Eventually, I learned to distinguish this smell of cabbage cooking. Ira handed the papers to a man behind a desk which was several feet back from the door.

The man picked up his phone and made a call. I am assuming it was to the director's office. Soon a woman in a white lab coat came down the stairs and into the foyer. Ira introduced her as the orphanage director and we followed her back upstairs. The director opened a door and we went into an office with a huge long wooden table. It could have seated an entire corporation of people. The director sat down at a small desk and we were seated at the table.

Ira was translating what was being said about this little boy's birth mother and she stated that he had severe food allergies and would not eat normally. They were giving him sea salt as part of his treatment. During her information there was a knock at the door. It brought Duane and I to our feet. A care giver came into the room holding a baby with peach fuzz for hair and big light blue eyes. His skin a was very fair and he had a rash. He looked very nervous and confused. I looked at Duane who had the same shocked look on his face that I had on mine. Our eyes met and we looked at the baby again. I walked over to the baby and took him into my arms. He started to cry and Ira told us to bring him this way. Duane said to me "Here is our son".

He was so extremely cute!!! We accepted him that evening and began our visits. His name would be Christian Mikeal Gartner. We called him by his orphanage name initially which was Artem. He was very small and wore a size 12 months loosely. The way to his heart was definitely through his stomach. He ate like a horse and I noticed that his rash was actually scabies. As time went by he was getting stronger and happier. Of course, Valerie showed back up the next day after we accepted him. This was a good thing, as we needed him to complete our adoption paperwork.

A few days after we had been visiting him, Ira came into our hotel room, she was highly excited. She said she had a surprise for us and could we go to the lady in the office before our daily visit to Christian. Much to our surprise, the lady in the office, told us that Christian had a group mate who was just available for adoption. It was another baby and "she" was 13 months old. They were waiting for her paperwork to be completed in Kiev before we could meet her. We were on top of the world and very ready for our court date to make Christian our's forever.


The first picture above is the Sevastopol Baby Orphanage where approximately 100 babies live. The next two pictures are of Duane and I with Christian in Warsaw, Poland. In 2002 the American Embassy in Kiev could not issue an exit visa. They were all processed out of Warsaw. Going back in time a little is a picture of Christian in the orphanage and the one beside it was gotcha day!!! Our little boy buried his face in my neck as we walked out of the orphanage gates and he never looked back. Christian fell asleep in the car ride to our hotel. The final picture is of the orphanage director and Christian in my arms the day we left the orphanage three and a half weeks after we met him.

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